Understanding the equation of Gender - Women/ Men =Women?

If not many, a few will definitely agree to the thinking that the term gender has a different meaning in Nepal. More than balance between genders, men and women – to several people, it connotes advocacy for women and women rights. Dissatisfaction abounds even within the literates, who deals with the term on everyday basis however, yet not well versed with the notion of gender equality. What does gender equality means? It is not about snatching men’s opportunities and providing it to women, it is not about inviting only females in gender workshops/trainings, nor does it mean filling all the jobs related to gender with women, providing a false base to the widespread notion that gender is for women, gender is women and gender equality will only benefit women. There is a need to bring change in mindsets. Gender equality means equal rights for both men and women; it refers to freedom of choice and decision. It means equal opportunities of happy childhood, adequate food, proper education, free mobility, rights and access to resources and opportunities and an equal say in decision making process affecting their lives.

People often fail to understand that if women are educated and independent, it will bring benefit to men, family and nation. It will reduce the pressure on men to provide money and food to the family singlehandedly. With rising inflation, women are increasingly joining the economic workforce. It is helping families however at the cost of dual burden on women. This double labor is seldom acknowledged. Rather people still follow the notion that more freedom to females may possibly bring dishonor to the family. This is how increasing divorce rates and family break-ups in Nepal are explained by conservative minds. It’s a societal problem. To cite instances, as per many observers including myself, men and women equally work abroad, share the household work and child care responsibilities equally, however, the same men and women revert back to traditional gender roles while they are in Nepal. The societal construction for gender is so strong and deeply embedded that we do not want to implement our learning’s at our home. We rant about change, but we do not dare to risk for that change.

Gender equality being the main pillar of national development goal, many of us work with gender issues, however, less of us implement the gender rules in our lives. How many of us have conferred equal property rights to our sons and daughters? This simple question is sufficient to answer how gender conscious are we. If you believe in equality then aren’t your daughter and son entitled to equal love, equal care and equal share in the parental property? We need to remind ourselves, it is not a shame but an honor to share the roles and responsibilities. Work division should be about interest, based on consensus of both partners and not about gender. Men and women both should help and support each other. And if women are demanding equal share in parental properties, it is not because they are spoiled due to extra freedom and education however it is because it is their rights and they wish to be considered equal citizens of Nepal. There is a dire need to understand – why more focus on women? How do we meet the equilibrium of gender equality? And how we can link gender equality to equal opportunities? As the statement by Mahatma Gandhi goes- Be the change you want to be -To bring actual change, it is important that the change should start from you, from your home. Nothing will change through speech protests and heaps of write ups on gender unless your heart shows the genuine willingness to accept that men and women both are human beings and to survive in this world they have equal necessities. Men and women should complement each other; walk shoulder to shoulder rather than walking as two unequal wheels of the same cart. This imbalance will never lead to prosperity and sustainable development.