She Did It!

My best friend is here, and I know she should be the one telling this story but I am way too excited to share it.

Bestie got married when she was 17years old when we were still at the university. I remember the backlash she got from her family, and me . Oh yes, I did get really mad when she decided to marry this young . When she insisted on her decision, it became clear to me that she knew exactly what she was doing , so I supported her decision.

Fast forward to one year in marriage , bestie was not able to conceive . Whilst people started talking and giving her heat for not putting to birth already, we knew she was just taking her time. After all the first few years of marriage are to be spent enjoying your husband .

Two years, Three years .... still no child . Of course alarms were raised, husbands family was bitter , bestie was worried , depressed and gloomy all the time. Of course she will put up an “I got this all figured out face” whenever she was in public, but back at home she will cry herself to sleep. Everyone concluded the problem was her, since Africans don’t believe men have faults when it comes to the part played in bringing forth a child .

Bestie couldn’t talk to family about this either . She didn’t want to give them the pleasure of saying “I told you so” since everyone was against her getting married.

In the fourth year, bestie decides that it will be nice if she and hubby have a proper church (white) wedding . Perhaps God withheld children from them purely because they didn’t have a proper church wedding .  Hubby’s family don’t like this idea, they will whisper and spiff hate asking hubby why he wants to waste money marrying a barren woman.

oh , mind you bestie is not the problem, however based on the assumption that failure to give birth is always a woman’s fault, bestie has to sought for the cure herself. She visits from one hospital to another, home and abroad . Yet all tests have the underlying fact “There is nothing wrong with you “

So now bestie thinks she is cursed , or that it’s a spiritual problem. She feels like it’s the end of her life . Mind you., she is just 21 as at 4 years into marriage.

Hubby now cheats, entertains other girls, bestie is subject to emotional trauma, yet she can’t talk to us, family about it because she doesn’t want the “I told you look”

It’s in the tenth year, I mean 1,2 3.......10 that bestie decides she has had enough, and decides to walk out on her marriage. That will mean abandoning the comfort of her home, the financial security her husband provides , her entitlements . That will mean starting afresh . 

Now, this is the interesting part, bestie decides she needs a new start, she needs something that can fetch her money remotely , and that’s when I decide that it’s time to teach bestie graphic designs where she could make fliers and logos from wherever hole she decides to burry herself in. 

As I type this, I can’t stop smiling because bestie just finished designing her logo for her restaurant business. She is now working on her flier .