GENDER BASED VIOLENCE IS NOT ONLY PHYSICAL!!!!

SHE: Mother !! I HURT"... (She cries out) I HURT"

MOTHER: "What from"?

SHE: "Mother...... From the Embrace of my Lover" (she replies)

MOTHER: (perplexed asks) "Does the embrace of a Lover hurt??

SHE: Mother, my LOVER'S embrace STINGS. I want out of his EMBRACE!!!

MOTHER: (examining her face) But your checks look fresh and Ruddy.

SHE: Mother, I hurt deeply..... I want out....

MOTHER :(examining her arms and body) I see no wounds, ...

SHE: Mother, I hurt at night.... on his bed.. when I have no DESIRE...

MOTHER:(scowling)you Devil Child, you want to Soil my name? Did I not raise you well? Why pay me back with shame?

EVERYONE: SHE is an ungrateful Child....

MOTHER: When night falls, make sure there is DESIRE..Stay PUT" (she yells at her).

SHE stays PUT, but after STING upon STING upon STING,slowly life ebbs out of her as the VENOM from LOVER's continual unseen STING, like that of the Scorpion in the Dress; then SHE drops down, cold, Dead .

MOTHER: (wails) "Why, Death Why"?

EVERYONE : (exclaims) "But SHE was loved by the BEST LOVER"

STING LOVER:( stays MUTE, not talking)

EVERYONE:( alludes his silence to Grief) But alas, only SCORPION HUSBAND knows that SHE has succumbed to his DEADLY VENOM

This Scenario here is true for so many women(including myself), in my Locality, Country and Worldwide too.

Here is my own realtime experience....

After so many years as an unmarried single mother, I gave in to pressure from family and friends to get married to this man they all saw as the best thing that ever happened to me. But marriage to this man, has been one of constant, unending verbal, sexual, mental and financial torture and abuse.

Because there are no physical wounds or injury or scars, no one takes my complaints seriously.

Details of my experience are in my Previous post here....

It has taken me a lot of self reflection and doubt to make up my mind about speaking out here and about leaving cos, I fear been able to survive or live on my own with the children.

But now I know better. ............

I HAVE TO LEAVE To LIVE!!!!!!!!

Not up to a Month ago, two young women I personally know succumbed to death by Heart failure for known emotional and mental brutality of their husbands. One of the husband's was known to have taken a lover barely a year into marriage citing that his newlywed wife has failed to conceive after 7 months. He was known to eventually have a child out of wedlock from the Lover, leaving the wife Emotionally devastated. She went to several hospitals to enable her take in and succeeded after 4 years, but the harm had already been done emotionally ,

she succumbed to death from Heartbreak after 11 years of marriage leaving behind tender children.

The Second died barely a year into marriage, of emotional breakdown due to her husband's body shaming and infidelity. She kept a Dairy of her experiences, unable to open up to friends, mother, brother and family,even though they were in her everyday life. Probably discouraged by the fact that she married LATE (33) and they would most probably tell her she was lucky to have found a 'HORSEBAND' , with her Body size and age!!!!!! (Like I am been told)..

Both ladies lie in the Morgue as I speak, leaving family and friends in deep grief., and the mother of one has been hospitalized after collapsing from news of her daughter's demise.

There is a rising wave, of a different kind of violence and abuse, women are experiencing, ultimately leading to the end of DREAMS, VISIONS and AMBITION and LIFE.

Women world over find themselves victims, in a relationship that is,or WAS meant to UPLIFT and ENTHRONE ; for during the marital rites, husbands pledges, to love, cherish, uphold, protect.

Like the continual sting of a Scorpion, hidden in a person's dress, she finds she cannot escape the venom of His verbal and mental Abuse. Is it the demeaning verbs spewed upon her daily, or the malicious stories of her, told by her "holder and destroyer", to damage her reputation, or the constant denial of his hurtful behavior, and the dismissal of her complaints as a fiction of her imagination, making "Madam Wife" question her own sanity and doubt her originality? Is it the forced sexual relations she submits to for peace to reign at night, when she cannot escape cos she has no where else to shelter, even though it is against her wish?

Then we ask, is this too Gender Based Violence?

Yes, this is Gender Based Violence too, because she is WOMAN, and WIFEHOOD compels her to proximity with her abuser. She is bound by the chains that makes her vulnerable to Abuse- MARRIAGE...

TILL DEATH DO US PART!!!! But does it have to be HER DEATH that PARTS them??????

OR......

Does it have to be the DEATH from the hands of the one who made an OATH to Protect her for the rest of her life?

BLEEDING with UNSEEN BLOOD from an UNSEEN INJURY, that Slowly drains life out of her?

What more violates a person than Mental and Emotional Torture and Abuse, a diminished sense of Worth and the Lack of will yo be a person, to dream, to reach to others?

I CALL OUT ALL WOMEN WHO ARE EMOTIONALY and MENTALLY ABUSED BY THEIR SPOUSES TO COME OUT!!!!!!

SPEAK OUT!!!!!!

CALL FOR HELP WHEN NO ONE AROUND YOU BELIEVES YOU BECAUSE THERE ARE NO PHYSICAL WOUNDS To ShOW FOR ABUSE!!!!!!!

SPEAK OUT BEFORE YOUR CANDLE BURNS OUT!!!!!!

I ALSO CALL ON ALL SISTERS, BROTHERS, MOTHERS, FATHERS AND FRIENDS TO ALSO LOOK OUT FOR A SISTER AND PAY ATTENTION TO HER SILENT CRY, LOOK BEYOND HER FACE AND SEE THE WOUNDS THAT ARE BLEEDING INSIDE.!!!

EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE IS ALSO GENDER BASED VIOLENCE!!!

IT MUST NOT BE VISIBLE FOR IT TO BE NAMED VIOLENCE.!