Breath OR Die

World Pulse has been my inner power that pushed me toward taking action and toward achievement. It has given me the strongest desire to do and accomplish something that I now see and find as important to me and to those I love. You have motivated my ambition, and the desire to do and accomplish things. I have never thought I could come to a conclusion of wanting to write a memoir BUT due to my interaction with Karen and on World Pulse platform, I am more than motivated and already started that road. Thank you Karen and World Pulse.  

Through my journey of life, World Pulse helped me not to let yesterday take up too much of today. Through sharing and reading from my fellow members of World Pulse, I have learned that while we must accept that problems are a part of reality and will occur, we must never allow them to encompass all our time and thoughts. Putting too much focus on the challenges and past sadness or treatment or unloved circumstances we faced, can break our spirit, crush our heart, strip our energy, and steal our happiness. Much of our happiness is up to us. 

Through this journey, World Pulse made me see life differently and to appreciate life as well as count my blessings. Working with the mental challenged, being closer and being in their space, made me see, love is the most beautiful thing. Love can move mountains, changes the taste of bitter lemons into sweet lemonade. Love becomes alive when you start feeling happy within and appreciate everything that is laid before you. Imagine hugging the mental challenged person, what do you expect their reaction would be? I have  done that and the reaction of affectionate hug back filled with laughter because of acceptance, that moment is priceless and I wouldn't have gone through that  extra mile if I haven't read some of the stories on World Pulse of people sharing how much receiving love is so precious to them. We all have gone through different trial and bitter love or denied love, painful childhood (like I did) but the moment I started sharing my stories here, all the negative thoughts turned to positiveness and it was like a switch from darkness into immediate light.  I am now a happy soul and I cant thank this platform well enough. Jill can ascertain the anger i portrayed as I related the story of how my daughter I raised for 29 years and was about to be a qualified lawyer died mysteriously within 10 days in her marriage, losing 29 years of single motherhood raising a girl child in 10 days that was the worse blow for me to go kill someone (the anger and resentment I felt) BUT right now that anger has changed into acceptance of love and taken that trial into lesson learned. 

To accomplish the goal of remaining happy through trials, we must develop the personal discipline to accept the situation at hand, but never allow ourselves to get engrossed. We can’t ignore it, and we can’t pretend it isn’t happening or has happened but rephrase and train our heart and mind that, it happened and it is something we cannot change,  whatever is not in our control, we must methodically set aside worrying and pondering about it day and night will not change it and teaches ourselves to practice how to accept what we cannot change in order to move forward because if we "dwell" in that space of unhappiness and anger, our lives stops right there and it is as good as stopped breathing and be dead..

Being here has thought me to FORGIVE, I have been wronged so badly, I was a child and known nothing and meant no harm to anyone, the pain I have felt placed so many obstacles in my life, however, sharing that here helped me to try hard to limit the effort of being placed into forever angry mode or made into being angry with whoever wronged me. It is fine to blow off steam, but let it go as quickly as possible. I learned that allowing blame and anger to fester have robbed me and could continue to rob me of the ability to think clearly to work through the problem and get ahead and the “blame game” and the anger that comes with it will make me feel sad and unhappy of which this will not only affect me but my innocent children and those around me and this would be a roller coaster with unending hate triangle and I couldn't put my children in a same space I have been and hated so much till now. I had to breath or die and I am breathing and living. Thank you World Pulse.